How is it that people swoon over a momma-to-be with pregnant belly and tell her that she's glowing but when she's no longer pregnant she's expected to look like she was never pregnant in the first place?
We've all seen the celebrity headlines and articles...
"Star Moms who Bounced Right Back"
"Did the actress really give birth?"
"A second-time bounce back was no sweat..."
"A month after welcoming son, the actress was already in Trophy Wife shape..."
"...unveils incredibly flat tummy just 11 days after giving birth."
Like what in the actual f*#k?
When did our postpartum bodies become the primary concern of celebrity gossip? Where are the questions like "how are you feeling?" Or "how is your support system helping you?" Or "how is your recovery going after having a cesarean birth?"
Media has put a skewed image into the minds of women by focusing so much attention on how fast celebrities can get back into their skinny jeans rather than caring one bit about the health of these women postpartum.
The story from this incredible mother is a direct effect of the toxic pressure put on women to "get their body back" postpartum and erase all evidence of the incredible transformation their body went through while growing a human.
"After my first son was born, I quickly lost any weight I had gained."
Sarah is a mom of 5 - yes you read that right - ranging in age from 12 years to 2 years in age. She's also the co-founder of a company called And Together that focuses on helping companies facilitate inclusion, equity and diversity into their corporate culture and is an accomplished finance, investor relations and strategy professional.
"The story I would like to share is from 2010, when my second son, Samuel, was born. I had suffered for years from body image issues and dealt with those issues by seriously restricting my diet and working out compulsively. That behaviour was driven by the fact that I knew my body was somehow flawed if it had any fat on it and that an acceptable weight for a woman was just around 100lbs. I hit 100lbs in grade 6. The lowest I had ever weighed as an adult was 140lbs, which was before I had kids or a career. At the time, I was spending 3+ hours at the gym and basically living on tea and salads. I had always known that I didn’t fit the mold of what a woman should look like and when I got pregnant with both my sons, I gained weight quickly and was forced to accept that was “normal”.
After my first son was born, I quickly lost any weight I had gained. I took him to babysitting at the gym and our gym trips and planning meals basically took over our lives while I was on maternity leave."
Sarah is not alone in this feeling. One study showed that more than half (54 per cent) of the women aged 25-34 who had been pregnant felt more negative about their body image after pregnancy compared to before they were pregnant.
"When I got pregnant a second time, I was back at work and preparing to write the CFA (Certified Financial Accounting) Level One Exam. My husband and I had made the decision that we would focus on my career and as I grew my career, he would take over more at home with the kids. The stress of being pregnant, having a 1-year-old and being back at work and then adding on this exam meant my stress levels were high and I turned to food to cope. I didn’t have the time to work out 3 hours a day anymore, and so my food intake increased, the quality of my food choices declined, and I stopped working out. I gained a lot of weight very quickly to the point that my doctors kept telling me they were worried about my weight gain.
I wrote the CFA Level 1 exam when I was six months pregnant with Sam. As the stress and pressure of studying for and writing this exam faded, I was able to work out again and eat better, and I didn’t gain another pound the rest of my pregnancy. Looking back that seems weird, but I remember the doctors being happy that my weight gain had stopped even as my baby was supposed to be growing tremendously.
"As soon as I left the hospital, I started worrying about how I was going to get my body back."
Luckily, 3 months later I delivered a healthy, happy baby boy by c-section. As soon as I left the hospital, I started worrying about how I was going to get my body back. Managing a heavy workout schedule and staying on top of my diet all the time had been relatively easy when I was just responsible for one little boy, but now I had two to care for. They wouldn’t nap at the same time and our oldest son Jack was still getting up during the night, which meant I was up with a newborn and our toddler all the time. I was sleep deprived and exhausted but determined to get my body back. After all, celebrity moms “bounced back” from their pregnancies no problem, so why shouldn’t I be able to do the same?"
Studies have shown that on average, mothers’ body dissatisfaction increased significantly from 0-1 month to 9 months postpartum. Meaning that the further from giving birth these mothers were, the more they disliked how their body looked. This focus on postpartum pressure to "lose the baby weight" was potentially predisposing women to a poorer body image in a culture that often equates beauty with thinness. This cultural “thinness” mindset could unfortunately have negative repercussions on a mother's mental health.
"I ignored the advice to take it easy for the first six weeks. I would take the kids on 2- and 3-hour walks for cardio and started to severely decrease the quantity of food I consumed. When I should have been worried about making sure I was healthy so that I could care for my kids, I instead focused on making sure I was skinny and could prove to everyone that I could handle being a mom of 2 and still be thin.
To motivate myself to keep training, I signed up for a half marathon that would take place 3 months after Sam was born. I quickly moved from long walks to runs with the kids, and in late May I left my husband, our newborn and toddler at the start line and set off to run a half-marathon. The weather was cold and rainy, and I wasn’t dressed properly. I figured I would warm up as the run went on, so I wasn’t too worried about it.
I managed to run 13km before I started to feel terrible. I felt as though there was a rock in my stomach, and I was starting to feel feverish. I slowed to a walk for a while, but then as I kept getting passed by other runners, my competitive spirit kicked in and I ran the rest of the race. Meeting my husband and our little boys at the finish line. I told my husband that I needed to get home right away to warm up. That all I needed was a long, hot bath and I would be fine.
And that was the case, at least for a couple of days. A few days later, I developed strep throat. I was familiar with strep throat because I had it many times as a kid. It felt like I was swallowing glass and I laid on the couch as much as possible while my little boys played with toys. I took painkillers to reduce the pain, but instead of making things better I started to get nauseous. Eventually I called my husband and told him that he needed to come home from work. That I couldn’t watch the kids anymore. He packed up his tools and was able to make it home within a few hours.
"I had become so concerned with how I
looked and how I compared to others, that
I had decimated my health."
By the time he got home, I was throwing up and hallucinating. He packed up our boys, gotme a bucket and took me to Emergency. I sat with my head between my knees in the emergency room while he spoke to the nurses and arranged for my dad to come pick up our boys. I remember a woman in the emergency department coming to place her hands on me, to tell me that I would be ok, but I couldn’t look up. All I could do was moan because I was in so much pain and discomfort.
Eventually I got through and assigned a bed. They rans some tests and started antibiotics quickly. I was admitted to the hospital where I stayed for the next 4 days while my husband and parents took care of our boys. After a couple of days there, the doctor came in to tell me that I had a strep infection which normally should’ve been managed by an antibiotic prescription, but because I had allowed my immune system to become so depleted from pushing myself and not resting, they had to deliver it by IV. She told me I was lucky to be walking out of the hospital with only bad memories and not a more severe outcome.
I had become so concerned with how I looked and how I compared to others, that I had decimated my health. I appeared fit and strong on the outside, but my body was in disarray. After this experience I pay much less attention to how my body is supposed to look, and much more to how it feels. I’ve developed a much more holistic understanding of health and well-being and moved from my narrow minded focus on weight."
Sarah has recently completed her yoga teacher training and now teaches on Sunday and Monday evenings at Yoga Santosha in Calgary. Her restorative classes focus on sound therapy to calm the nervous system and enhance healing.
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